The conversation was electric, the time flew by in an instant and we never once had to stop to gather our thoughts. Once we started we couldn’t stop. The interruptions from cafe staff almost didn’t register and we went way over the time we had allocated, making me late for my next appointment. We were in our FLOW state. The state of mind where endless energy seems to take over you, nothing seems like hard work, you’re focussed, energised and passionate.

“Flow is the mental state of operation in which a person in an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity.” 

I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall in the cafe watching us yesterday because I don’t recall a single thing that happened around us. I had my blinkers on and didn’t once stop to regard the hustle and bustle of the cafe clientele surrounding us. We were so engaged and in tune with our conversation, we seemed to surpass the time-space continuum.

It’s in moments like these that you truly discover your calling. Your answer to “What should I do with my life?” or “What really makes me happy?”. It is your number one goal to find this space in your life, embrace it and let it carry you on a journey of work that doesn’t end in burn out, stress or a heart attack.

The conversation I shared yesterday really re-affirmed for me that I am on the right path. The things I value the most in my work are continuous learning, sharing and teaching. My life is now my message. The beautiful thing about that single conversation for me was that the man sitting opposite me, who was equally enthralled and engaged, is 40 years my senior.

Here we were, a dynamic duo, comprising of one half youthful enthusiasm and equal parts grey-haired wisdom, discussing some of the deepest drivers of successful individuals across the world. Nothing else mattered.

The inspiration, motivation and energy I took away from that chat had nothing to do with the espresso I consumed whilst sitting there. He and I connected on a different level. “He got it”. “I got it”. We never judged each other, we never felt superior or inferior. We never dictated. We were two individuals with an entire generation between us who got lost in the value we could give to each other. This was my biggest lesson.

Upon reflection, I realised that I achieved my flow state not by consuming, taking or aspiring to something, but by giving, sharing and listening intently.

“The more I learn, the more I realise how little I know.” – Socrates

It was this moment of gratitude and reflection that allowed me to retain the learnings he had shared with me, so I could then share them with others. On his advice, I later summarised our conversation in the form of a “brain dump” of dot points and emailed it back to him hours after our meeting.

This simple step forced me to not only recall the details of our wide and varied conversation but to synthesize, distill and articulate those ideas onto paper. As result, my brain can easily recall every idea we discussed and I have also formed a set of notes that I can refer back to in the future.

Learning is fundamentally important but retaining something by DOING is even more important. How often do you stop to take notes from a good book you’re reading? It crosses your mind but how often do you actually do it? By the time you’re on to the next chapter you’re already losing a wealth of information that your brain cannot store because you haven’t yet asked it to reproduce it.

I am now in the practice of forming a daily writing habit and noticing remarkable results in my pursuit of knowledge and education.

Some of that writing I share with you here if I feel it would be valuable to you, others I share privately with a group of mentors and some is just for me. Regardless, I sit down and put pen to paper every day. It can be hard to start sometimes and other times it can be hard to stop. It’s quickly becoming a ritual that cleanses the mind, slows me down and frees me from what feels like a never-ending accumulation of ideas.

Speaking works in a similar way to writing by asking the brain to dig deep into it’s repository of wisdom, and to then communicate it in words that articulately convey the message.

This is one of the reasons I feel at home in front of an audience and get so much energy in return – because I’m learning while I’m speaking. I’m increasing my own knowledge by being forced to recall experiences, stories and advice that I’ve received throughout my entrepreneurial career and repackage the lessons I have learned from each one.

I almost feel guilty that what I do professionally is also what I do to further my own self development and growth. Ultimately however, this is what we should all aspire to find – that space in our lives where we feel our contribution to others is making a real difference, and the reward we receive for that contribution is encouragement to continue that work.

Our ability to change ourselves from a ‘take’ mentality, to a ‘give’ mentality, is synonymous with our ability to change the world.

“It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed.” – Napoleon Hill

What is your experience in finding your flow state? What are you doing when you are happiest? When do you contribute the most to others? Do you feel a sense of reward in your work? Are you excited about getting out of bed each day? Let this post only be the beginning our discussion by posting your comments below…

This article unleashes some powerful new tricks to deal with nay-sayers, deflect their negativity and keep you steadfast on your path to success.

Read on, because these methods have been the corner stone of my entrepreneurial success, the reason why I’ve been able to channel my aspirations into real action and serious results.

Guarantee your success with unstoppable momentum when it matters most.

Imagine deflecting the negative speak that you attract every time you dream something big, set stretch goals or start your next phase of world domination. Imagine setting yourself apart from the “going-to’s” and joining the elite club of “DOers”. The people who actually get sh*t done. If actions speak louder than words, DOers are the one’s who garner the accolades, praise and applause.

Being well equipped when a nay-sayer comes along makes it easier to deflect their belittling ambitions. We are all already equipped with the tools required, we simply need to know how to use them.

The secret lies in your mind – it’s a matter of positive perspective.

The human mind is ridiculously powerful, used correctly it’s an absolute game-changer – I’ve never worked with a successful individual or company who didn’t invest in improving and understanding the power of their mind. Best of all, we’ve all got one!

First, let’s understand why nay-sayers exist and do what they do, because in most cases their behaviour is not intended as vicious.

The Vision Principle:
Those with a smaller vision for the world around them naturally react to aspirations outside their vision by pulling shreads off those who dare to dream bigger. It makes them uncomfortable and threatened because they do not value anything outside their own vision. This isn’t a bad thing and it’s not their fault, it’s just imperative to understand. Those with an equal or larger vision for their life than yours (at least subjectively), react encouragingly towards your dreams.

It’s easy to observe this in your daily interactions, people with a success mindset don’t feel threatened and instead encourage you to see the bigger picture:

“Those who have smaller dreams and vision than you will automatically pull you down. Those who have an equal or larger vision than you will say “good on you, go for it!”.”

It’s easy to workout who you should be spending the most time with. The peer circle you surround yourself with is fundamentally important. You can prepare, deflect and otherwise be a nay-sayer-ninja, but ultimately the less you experience the better.

The comments, jibes, raised eyebrows, lectures and explanations from nay-sayers as to why you CAN’T do something never helped anybody. They instill feelings of doubt, fear, rejection, remorse, guilt and inability before you ever truly get started.

Rest assured there are some easy ways to beat them:

1. Don’t Listen. Sounds too simple right? Wrong. The human brain listens both actively and passively and fortunately we can control the former. Make the firm decision BEFORE encountering your next nay-sayer not to give a !@#$. You already know that their reactions are simply a reflection of the vision they hold for their lives, which is fine, leave them to get on with what’s important to them and confidently move forward.
2. Reframe It. With enough practice you can reframe anything positively. Look for the lesson or opportunity in their comments and use it to motivate you further. You’ve already committed to achieving the success you want so reframing their negative energy into more fuel for your success-rocket is the fastest way to diminish the negativity. If someone tells you your idea sounds “too risky”, take comfort in knowing that where there’s risk, there’s reward and thank them for reminding you that you’re on the right track.
3. Don’t Share It. I’m all for setting goals and openly sharing them with people who I respect to hold me accountable to my dreams. I don’t need to explain the power of writing your goals down, posting them online or sharing them confidently with others to spur you on to achieve what you said you will. BUT (you knew there was a but…) if you know someone is your harshest critic and does nothing but exude negative energy, don’t share your aspirations at all. Instead, work tirelessly behind the scenes and then surprise them with your new found freedom, success and happiness (Take that! Ka-Pow! sound effects). Likewise, if your someone who always shares their goals and never achieves them, SHUT UP and just get it done. You’re only encouraging more nay-sayers based on your previous track record of never reaching the finish line.
4. Flood It Out. Regardless of your efforts, they will still get at you occasionally – don’t worry it happens to us all. The best way to deal with negative comments and stop nasty self-doubt from taking over, is to flood it out with positive reinforcement. Now is the time to get a big head, pat yourself on the back, tell yourself how good you are and seek praise from others (go on, I give you permission). STROKE THAT EGO. Yes, well all need a little to keep us going. Go back and read testimonials or references you’ve received in the past, find that thank-you letter you received after exceeding expectations, re-live great moments from your life or call someone who you know looks up to you. Positive reinforcement is not self-indulging behaviour, it is necessary for success (You can dooooooooooo it!).
5. Affirm Your Ability. For the longest time I would always squirm when I heard (or read) the word “Affirmations”. It was a term that was taken, abused and tarnished by wannabe self-help gurus who’s lives changed forever when they saw the book “The Secret” on Oprah. I mean come oooooooonnn! (Clearly I still have some pent up anger issues here, sorry about that). The truth is, affirmations, or “self talk” as I prefer say, are extremely powerful when used correctly. Using positive self talk to reaffirm and reassure ourselves that we’re on the right track is more powerful than any of the above points combined. You are in control of your life, you can change for the better and you will be a tremendous success in your industry or niche. No one has a greater ability to help you through tough times than you do. The secret is to prepare before the tough times and read your affirmations out loud every morning (cheesy I know, but just try it). Start by writing down what you want for your life in present tense on a piece of paper that you will see everyday. Then read it, read it and read it some more.

An example of some of my recent affirmations that I am reading out loud daily (in the bathroom mirror):

• I am a genius. I always apply and share my wisdom.
• I am an internationally acclaimed professional speaker who travels the world sharing my message.
• I am location-independent of my work. I am free to travel the world with the toolbox in my brain.
• I change lives positively with every interaction and encourage others to find their way of contributing their best work to the planet.
• I am happy, positive and loving in my relationships. I exude contagious positive energy to those around me.
• I live my life at full capacity, with freedom to do what I love and to love what I do.

Bonus Tip: You’re reading this because you’ve chosen a different and more interesting path for your life. You are determined, dangerously ambitious and driven to excel. Remember that if it was easy, everyone would do it. Nothing exciting happens in the middle of your safety net, it’s those who get out on the edge and stay out there, pushing the limits that truly achieve great things. Give yourself permission to have all that you deserve, you are in the minority of society that gets things done, so get out there and make the world a better place for us all.

With your help, the comments on this post could greatly improve upon or completely surpass the value of this post. There is no right or wrong answer, let me know how you deal with your nay-sayers…

It speaks for itself:

That’s 5 star, I can’t wait to read the book!

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If we haven’t met before, I’d love to meet you! You can find out a little bit about me here and get in contact with me here. Are you on Twitter? You can follow me here: @mikeboyd

Stay up-to-date by joining the community here!

I personally believe the traditional education system is rubbish so I think this cartoon is excellent, check it out:

Have you set your goals yet for 2010?!

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If we haven’t met before, I’d love to meet you! You can find out a little bit about me here and get in contact with me here. Are you on Twitter? You can follow me here: @mikeboyd

Stay up-to-date by joining the community here!

Take the time to watch it and soak it in. For those of you who’ve never seen this side of Will Smith, prepare to be amazed (I was).

One of my favourites:

“The separation of talent and skill is one of the greatest misunderstood concepts for people who are trying to excel, for people who have dreams. Talent you have naturally. Skill is only developed by hours and hours and hours of beating on your craft.”

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If we haven’t met before, I’d love to meet you! You can find out a little bit about me here and get in contact with me here. Are you on Twitter? You can follow me here: @mikeboyd

Stay up-to-date by joining the community here!

He was on the campaign trail in the US 1968 presidential race, and that context makes these words even more amazing. Less than three months later, he was shot and killed in California. Embedded below is a video montage from the speech, and the text follows below.

“We will find neither national purpose nor personal satisfaction in a mere continuation of economic progress, in an endless amassing of worldly goods. We cannot measure national spirit by the Dow Jones Average, nor national achievement by the Gross National Product. For the Gross National Product includes air pollution, and ambulances to clear our highways from carnage. It counts special locks for our doors and jails for the people who break them. The Gross National Product includes the destruction of the redwoods and the death of Lake Superior. It grows with the production of napalm and missles and nuclear warheads…. It includes… the broadcasting of television programs which glorify violence to sell goods to our children.

“And if the Gross National Product includes all this, there is much that it does not comprehend. It does not allow for the health of our families, the quality of their education, or the joy of their play. It is indifferent to the decency of our factories and the safety of our streets alike. It does not include the beauty of our poetry, or the strength of our marriages, the intelligence of our public debate or the integrity of our public officials… the Gross National Product measures neither our wit nor our courage, neither our wisdom nor our learning, neither our compassion nor our devotion to our country. It measures everything, in short, except that which makes life worthwhile, and it can tell us everything about America — except whether we are proud to be Americans.”

Robert F Kennedy’s speech from 1968 is still ever so relevant today. We can all take a great deal from this speech and consider the world we live in.

This one really hit home for me. How about you?

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If we haven’t met before, I’d love to meet you! You can find out a little bit about me here and get in contact with me here. Are you on Twitter? You can follow me here: @mikeboyd

Stay up-to-date by joining the community here!

“Think for yourself and let others enjoy the privilege of doing so too.”
- Voltaire

“If you can dream it you can do it.”
- Walt Disney

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t — you are right.”
- Henry Ford

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
- Mark Twain

“Take control of your destiny. Believe in yourself. Ignore those who try to discourage you. Avoid negative sources, people, places, thoughts and habits. Don’t ever give up and don’t ever give in.”
- Unknown

“One hundred percent of the shots you don’t take don’t go in.”
- Wayne Gretzky

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If we haven’t met before, I’d love to meet you! You can find out a little bit about me here and get in contact with me here. Are you on Twitter? You can follow me here: @mikeboyd

It was a fantastic experience working alongside a diverse group of young people from around the Asia-Pacific region. We engaged in strong debate and produced a number of actionable deliverables post-programme.

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Check out how Bobby McFerrin demonstrates the Power of the Pentatonic Scale recently at the World Science Festival (2009).

Don’t be put off by the title, I’m not much a science nut – this is entertaining!

World Science Festival 2009: Bobby McFerrin Demonstrates the Power of the Pentatonic Scale from World Science Festival on Vimeo.