Where’s the Love?
I came across this photo while browsing a_lil_spaz’s Flickr stream today and it made me stop and think about the relationships that we share together as human beings.
Too often we see blatantly rude acts by strangers, friends & colleagues that are becoming more & more the “norm”. In this fast-paced technology age we are beginning to ignore our basic instincts of human interaction at our own peril.
And you know what? “We” as a generation will pay the price for this avoidable ignorance as we begin to understand that it’s not all about the iPod, the new plasma TV, the luxury car or the designer clothes, it’s about RELATIONSHIPS.
Relationships with your partner, your family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances and strangers are so so important and you never know how a friendly act might benefit you in the future. Every action has an equal & opposite reaction and I’d much prefer to be on the receiving end of more positive than negative reactions. Wouldn’t you? In business and in life, relationships are far more important than the deal itself.
Stop and think for a moment, when was the last time you:
- Struck up a conversation with the person next to you on the train or bus?
- Talked to or even met your next door neighbours?
- Cared to listen to the answer when you asked “How are you?”
- Greeted the reception staff with a caring and patient response?
- Offered to help an elderly person with their shopping bags?
- Called an old friend just to chat?
- Sent snail mail?
- Smiled at a complete stranger?
“It’s not what you know, but who you know” and you won’t expand your social horizons by staying safely wrapped up in your technology cocoon away from all “those” people out there in the big bad world. As we experience an economic downturn and everything becomes just a little bit tougher, a lot of people are left wondering where to turn because they have no friends or support network left to fall back on in times of need. All because they simply didn’t have the time to maintain human relationships.
Choose to be different. Put down your iPod, mobile phone, laptop or blackberry and ask the cashier how their day has been. Who knows? It may lead you down a path to a new client, friend, lover or, better yet, just a simple positive human experience!
Until next time, SMILE! 
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They should be careful with their words, or I’ll just go and use the self-checkout instead. How’s unemployment going for you now?
Jokes aside, I truly agree with your message. I received a handwritten letter from an old friend the other day and it was amazing!
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They should be careful with their words, or I’ll just go and use the self-checkout instead. How’s unemployment going for you now?
Jokes aside, I truly agree with your message. I received a handwritten letter from an old friend the other day and it was amazing!
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Hahaha!
Very good point Ross but I suppose if everyone made that little extra effort to be friendly and smile every now and then, the cashier’s wouldn’t be grumpy or unpleasant in the first place!
The simplest and most treasured gifts are always free.
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Hahaha!
Very good point Ross but I suppose if everyone made that little extra effort to be friendly and smile every now and then, the cashier’s wouldn’t be grumpy or unpleasant in the first place!
The simplest and most treasured gifts are always free.
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hello mike,
i liked your tobic
i am from Oman in the Gulf region
here, we have some strong relationships between relatives,friends and neighbours.
i think that is good but in some cities where people living in more modren life they start ignoring these relations.
realy, relations is very vital in our lives and i taste this vitalty every day.when i get up from my bed and say good morning to my mom and she kiss me. I feel thet there is some one sharing me my moment whatever it is. when i go to the university and say good morning with a wide smile to all people i meet in my way.when i am sick, all my friends and colleegs call me and visit me.
realy it is a great wonderful feelings……. you feel that you are living in a peace. Realy, thanks to God
thanks Mike
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hello mike,
i liked your tobic
i am from Oman in the Gulf region
here, we have some strong relationships between relatives,friends and neighbours.
i think that is good but in some cities where people living in more modren life they start ignoring these relations.
realy, relations is very vital in our lives and i taste this vitalty every day.when i get up from my bed and say good morning to my mom and she kiss me. I feel thet there is some one sharing me my moment whatever it is. when i go to the university and say good morning with a wide smile to all people i meet in my way.when i am sick, all my friends and colleegs call me and visit me.
realy it is a great wonderful feelings……. you feel that you are living in a peace. Realy, thanks to God
thanks Mike
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Hi Sweet,
You’ve made a very critical point about my argument. It’s true that being based in Australia, in a modern and western society I have written the post from that point of view. However you demonstrate that there are of course many different cultures world wide that behave towards each other in different ways. Some better than Australia, some worse.
I think it’s great that you hold such close relationships with your family, friends and colleagues and wish to stress that the point of this post is to illustrate the diminishing ‘niceties’ between strangers in my western culture.
Would you agree that it always makes such a difference to receive a smile, compliment or appreciation from a complete stranger?
I know it lifts my day! So I try to lift as many as I can also…
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Hi Sweet,
You’ve made a very critical point about my argument. It’s true that being based in Australia, in a modern and western society I have written the post from that point of view. However you demonstrate that there are of course many different cultures world wide that behave towards each other in different ways. Some better than Australia, some worse.
I think it’s great that you hold such close relationships with your family, friends and colleagues and wish to stress that the point of this post is to illustrate the diminishing ‘niceties’ between strangers in my western culture.
Would you agree that it always makes such a difference to receive a smile, compliment or appreciation from a complete stranger?
I know it lifts my day! So I try to lift as many as I can also…
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Brilliant post Mikey… “Wow! You have an ipod, good for you!” Haha, isn't that true. It fascinates me, watching people get on the bus, go through check-out aisles and sitting in lectures with their ipods in. Not bothering to take it out of their ear for the five seconds they are buying their bus ticket, or thirty seconds they are with the cashier at Woolworths. “…didn't have the time to maintain human relationships”, that is a very good point, worth reflecting on daily. Good job, keep having fun.
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Thanks Jakey, glad you like it. Public transport is a particularly bad example of this isn't it? Maybe that's why I detest it so much?
I've expanded on this idea a little more: “Every action has an equal & opposite reaction and I’d much prefer to be on the receiving end of more positive than negative reactions.” on my post about The Ripple Effect and the ripples we each make everyday. It's so very simple but easily overlooked!
http://mikeboyd.com.au/290/the-ripple-effect/
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Hey Mikey,
Just been entertaining myself with your posts
Slightly different to the Ipod sign, but we have one about mobile phones at the shop.
We won’t serve any one unless they are off of their phones.
Although, the people who have to hang up their phones are usually the ones that seem to over look the worth of a simple human gesture!
Instead of accepting it and appreciating it for what it really is, they look for the sarcastic undertone.
Yes a mobile is slightly more social than an Ipod, but is it really that much of a big deal to call the person back?
Like you said they might make a new friend, expand their social circle.. or even worse be on the receiving end of some positive reactions because of theirs!
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Mobile phones aren't any more social than ipod's unless your using the phone to speak with the person in front of you! It's just plain rude. Great to hear you've got your own sign in the shop too Meegs, take a photo sometime and post it up here.
And no… of course it's not too much trouble to call back!
Thanks for stopping by and tuning into the comments Mega Mint, see you again soon!
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It's worth noting, though, that having the earphones in place does not automatically mean the iPod/iPhone is generating music. I hate the earbuds dangling, so I'll hit “Pause” but not remove the earbuds. Don't assume I'm being rude! I would never try to listen to a person over music playing in my ears, but neither do I like the earpieces dangling & tangling!
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Thanks @EarleyDaysYet that raises a interesting point… I can't say I agree with you though. I would say that 99 times out of 100 people would have no idea whether or not your music is playing and despite that, it's not really the point. Taking your earbuds out is a common courtesy to your fellow stranger, another member of the community and I think this is what this post highlights.
I think if we all make the extra effort to ask how another person's day has been and really care about the response, we'll all create a lot more positive ripples around us. For me, I'd still think you were being rude if you speaking to me with your earbuds in regardless of whether the music was playing or not.
I don't know, have you ever been in the other person's shoes?
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I've had “conversations” with a shopKEEPER that I couldn't hear over the blaring radio behind them, which immensely irritated me. I always chat or at least exchange pleasantries with shop assistants, bus drivers, servo staff etc, & the not-distracted, volume-appropriate conversation doesn't seem to confuse/bother them. Obviously for lengthy interactions (bank, post office, weddings) I take them out completely.
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I think part of the issue is the definition of “common courtesy” — by whose interpretation is it common? There's a guy down the road from me, wears noise-cancelling headphones all the time. Doesn't talk to anyone when he's at the shops. If you look carefully, though, the headphones aren't plugged into anything… he's autistic, & can't cope with the volume of everyday life. He's friendly, smiles, waves, sometimes says THANKS a bit too loudly, but no drama. “Common” is overrated. Appropriate courtesy is sufficient.
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I'm glad you take them out at Weddings haha! Yes you do hit a few good nails on the head there. Common Courtesy is a loose, broadly-reaching term and I guess that's the point… it's common. While I understand and accept your point of view, I would personally prefer not to be interacted with while someone was wearing their earphones. That's my preference and you have yours, we see the situation in a different light.
The post is designed to show case this point exactly; walkmans/ipods/digital tech has never been seen in such immense numbers before and this post highlights the impacts that has on society. This can be seen in both positive and negative lights as it's a period of adjustment we're experiencing, not a fad. While I have my opinion and you have yours, we have to take into consideration other peoples points of view as we interact with them.
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Absolutely, I agree – if someone is showing visible signs of distress
or cantankerousness, I will often slip them out discreetly, as I don't
WISH to cause offense, I simply don't feel that my earbud placement
has anything to do with fleeting quasi-social interactions.
But that does depend on my own emotional state – many times I
deliberately use the listening-to-music-feeling-anti-social thing to
deliberately avoid that interaction, usually on public transport when
my social phobia has reached breaking point & I need to be not-there.
At those times, although I still am not overtly rude, I can genuinely
fail to read the signals.
But yeah, weddings & funerals tend to be a given
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You've summed it up beautifully, I empathize with the “I need to be not-here” situations – we all have those.
Thanks for participating Early Days Yet, great debate! Please continue to participate throughout the blog, I love your perspective!
Cheers, Mike
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