Education, Entrepreneurship, Self Development

Yesterday I met a colleague for coffee at local cafe to discuss my speaking & training business. I hadn’t seen this gentleman for nearly three years but we quickly skipped the small talk and jumped deep into discussion about what it takes to be truly successful.

The conversation was electric, the time flew by in an instant and we never once had to stop to gather our thoughts. Once we started we couldn’t stop. The interruptions from cafe staff almost didn’t register and we went way over the time we had allocated, making me late for my next appointment. We were in our FLOW state. The state of mind where endless energy seems to take over you, nothing seems like hard work, you’re focussed, energised and passionate.

“Flow is the mental state of operation in which a person in an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity.” 

I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall in the cafe watching us yesterday because I don’t recall a single thing that happened around us. I had my blinkers on and didn’t once stop to regard the hustle and bustle of the cafe clientele surrounding us. We were so engaged and in tune with our conversation, we seemed to surpass the time-space continuum.

It’s in moments like these that you truly discover your calling. Your answer to “What should I do with my life?” or “What really makes me happy?”. It is your number one goal to find this space in your life, embrace it and let it carry you on a journey of work that doesn’t end in burn out, stress or a heart attack.

The conversation I shared yesterday really re-affirmed for me that I am on the right path. The things I value the most in my work are continuous learning, sharing and teaching. My life is now my message. The beautiful thing about that single conversation for me was that the man sitting opposite me, who was equally enthralled and engaged, is 40 years my senior.

Here we were, a dynamic duo, comprising of one half youthful enthusiasm and equal parts grey-haired wisdom, discussing some of the deepest drivers of successful individuals across the world. Nothing else mattered.

The inspiration, motivation and energy I took away from that chat had nothing to do with the espresso I consumed whilst sitting there. He and I connected on a different level. “He got it”. “I got it”. We never judged each other, we never felt superior or inferior. We never dictated. We were two individuals with an entire generation between us who got lost in the value we could give to each other. This was my biggest lesson.

Upon reflection, I realised that I achieved my flow state not by consuming, taking or aspiring to something, but by giving, sharing and listening intently.

“The more I learn, the more I realise how little I know.” – Socrates

It was this moment of gratitude and reflection that allowed me to retain the learnings he had shared with me, so I could then share them with others. On his advice, I later summarised our conversation in the form of a “brain dump” of dot points and emailed it back to him hours after our meeting.

This simple step forced me to not only recall the details of our wide and varied conversation but to synthesize, distill and articulate those ideas onto paper. As result, my brain can easily recall every idea we discussed and I have also formed a set of notes that I can refer back to in the future.

Learning is fundamentally important but retaining something by DOING is even more important. How often do you stop to take notes from a good book you’re reading? It crosses your mind but how often do you actually do it? By the time you’re on to the next chapter you’re already losing a wealth of information that your brain cannot store because you haven’t yet asked it to reproduce it.

I am now in the practice of forming a daily writing habit and noticing remarkable results in my pursuit of knowledge and education.

Some of that writing I share with you here if I feel it would be valuable to you, others I share privately with a group of mentors and some is just for me. Regardless, I sit down and put pen to paper every day. It can be hard to start sometimes and other times it can be hard to stop. It’s quickly becoming a ritual that cleanses the mind, slows me down and frees me from what feels like a never-ending accumulation of ideas.

Speaking works in a similar way to writing by asking the brain to dig deep into it’s repository of wisdom, and to then communicate it in words that articulately convey the message.

This is one of the reasons I feel at home in front of an audience and get so much energy in return – because I’m learning while I’m speaking. I’m increasing my own knowledge by being forced to recall experiences, stories and advice that I’ve received throughout my entrepreneurial career and repackage the lessons I have learned from each one.

I almost feel guilty that what I do professionally is also what I do to further my own self development and growth. Ultimately however, this is what we should all aspire to find – that space in our lives where we feel our contribution to others is making a real difference, and the reward we receive for that contribution is encouragement to continue that work.

Our ability to change ourselves from a ‘take’ mentality, to a ‘give’ mentality, is synonymous with our ability to change the world.

“It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed.” – Napoleon Hill

What is your experience in finding your flow state? What are you doing when you are happiest? When do you contribute the most to others? Do you feel a sense of reward in your work? Are you excited about getting out of bed each day? Let this post only be the beginning our discussion by posting your comments below…