This article shares some powerful tricks to deal with nay-sayers, deflect their negativity and keep you steadfast on your path to success.
These methods have been the corner stone of my entrepreneurial success, the reason why I’ve been able to channel my aspirations into real action and serious results. Resilience is necessary.
Boost your success with unstoppable momentum when it matters most.
Imagine deflecting the negative speak that you attract every time you dream something big, set stretch goals or start your next phase of world domination. Imagine setting yourself apart from the “going-to’s” and joining the elite club of “DOers”. The people who actually get sh*t done. If actions speak louder than words, DOers are the one’s who garner the accolades, praise and applause.
Being well equipped when a nay-sayer comes along makes it easier to deflect their belittling jibes. We are all already equipped with the tools required, we simply need to know how to use them.
The secret lies in your mind – it’s a matter of positive perspective.
The human mind is ridiculously powerful and used correctly it’s an absolute game-changer – I’ve never worked with a successful individual or company who didn’t invest in improving and understanding the power of their mind. Best of all, we’ve all got one!
First, let’s understand why nay-sayers exist and do what they do, because in most cases their behaviour is not intended to be vicious.
The Vision Principle:
Those with a smaller vision for the world around them naturally react to aspirations outside their vision by pulling shreads off those who dare to dream bigger. It makes them uncomfortable and threatened because they do not value anything outside their own vision. This isn’t a bad thing and it’s not their fault, it’s just important to understand. Those with an equal or larger vision for their life than yours (at least subjectively), react encouragingly towards your dreams.
It’s easy to observe this in your daily interactions. People with a success mindset don’t feel threatened and instead encourage you to see the bigger picture:
“Those who have a smaller vision than you will automatically pull you down. Those who have an equal or larger vision than you will say “good on you, go for it!”.”
It’s easy to workout who you should be spending the most time with. The peer circle you surround yourself with is fundamentally important. You can prepare, deflect and otherwise be a nay-sayer-ninja, but ultimately the less you experience the better.
The comments, jibes, raised eyebrows, lectures and explanations from nay-sayers as to why you CAN’T do something never helped anybody. They instill feelings of doubt, fear, rejection, remorse, guilt and inability before you ever truly get started.
Rest assured there are some easy ways to beat them:
- Don’t Listen. Sounds too simple right? Wrong. The human brain listens both actively and passively and fortunately we can control the former. Make the firm decision BEFORE encountering your next nay-sayer not to give a !@#$. You already know that their reactions are simply a reflection of the vision they hold for their lives, which is fine, leave them to get on with what’s important to them and confidently move forward.
- Reframe It. With enough practice you can reframe anything positively. Look for the lesson or opportunity in their comments and use it to motivate you further. You’ve already committed to achieving the success you want, so reframing their negative energy into more fuel for your success-rocket is the fastest way to diminish the negativity. If someone tells you your idea sounds “too risky”, take comfort in knowing that where there’s risk, there’s reward and thank them for reminding you that you’re on the right track.
- Don’t Share It. I’m all for setting goals and openly sharing them with people who I respect and who will hold me accountable to my dreams. I don’t need to explain the power of writing your goals down, posting them online or sharing them confidently with others, to spur you on to achieve what you said you would. BUT (you knew there was a but…) if you know someone is your harshest critic and does nothing but exude negative energy, don’t share your aspirations at all. Instead, work tirelessly behind the scenes and then surprise them with your new found freedom, success and happiness (Take that! Ka-Pow! sound effects). Likewise, if you’re someone who always shares their goals and never achieves them, SHUT UP and just get it done. You’re only encouraging more nay-sayers based on your track record of never reaching the finish line.
- Flood It Out. Regardless of your efforts, they will still get at you occasionally – don’t worry it happens to us all. The best way to deal with negative comments and stop nasty self-doubt from taking over is to flood it out with positive reinforcement. Now is the time to get a big head, pat yourself on the back, tell yourself how good you are and seek praise from others (go on, I give you permission). STROKE THAT EGO. Yes, well all need a little to keep us going. Go back and read testimonials or references you’ve received in the past, find that thank-you letter you received after exceeding expectations, re-live great moments from your life or call someone who you know looks up to you. Positive reinforcement is not self-indulging behaviour, it is necessary for success (You can dooooooooooo it!).
- Affirm Your Ability. For the longest time I would always squirm when I heard (or read) the word “Affirmations”. It was a term that was taken, abused and tarnished by wannabe self-help gurus who’s lives changed forever when they saw the book “The Secret” on Oprah. I mean come oooooooonnn! (Clearly I still have some pent up anger issues here, sorry about that). The truth is, affirmations, or “self talk” as I prefer say, are extremely powerful when used correctly. Using positive self talk to reaffirm and reassure ourselves that we’re on the right track is more powerful than any of the above points combined. You are in control of your life, you can change for the better and you will be a tremendous success in your industry or niche. No one has a greater ability to help you through tough times than you do. The secret is to prepare before the tough times and read your affirmations out loud every morning (cheesy I know, but just try it). Start by writing down what you want for your life in present tense on a piece of paper that you will see everyday. Then read it, read it and read it some more.
An example of some of my recent affirmations that I am reading out loud daily (in the bathroom mirror):
- I am a genius. I always apply and share my wisdom.
- I am a global citizen. I am free to travel the world with the toolbox in my brain.
- I am a successful entrepreneur with a strong track record.
- I change lives positively with every interaction and encourage others to find their way of contributing their best work to the planet.
- The network I build is the path to my future success.
- I am happy, positive and loving in my relationships. I exude contagious positive energy to those around me.
- I live my life at full capacity, with freedom to do what I love and to love what I do.
Bonus Tip: You’re reading this because you’ve chosen a different and more interesting path for your life. You are determined, dangerously ambitious and driven to excel. Remember that if it was easy, everyone would do it. Nothing exciting happens in the middle of your safety net, it’s those who get out on the edge and stay out there, pushing the limits that truly achieve great things. Give yourself permission to have all that you deserve, you are in the minority of society that gets things done, so get out there and make the world a better place for us all.
With your help, the comments on this post could greatly improve upon or completely surpass the value of this post. There is no right or wrong answer, let me know how you deal with your nay-sayers…